We Wish You the Merriest

…mid-winter celebration that coincides with, or falls on or about, December 25th including (but not necessarily limited to):

Yuletide
Hanukkah
Kwanzaa
Solstice
Festivus
Cannabis

Which is not to suggest that your holiday is in fact a “holy day”, if you don’t want it to be. Or isn’t, if you do.

Nor is it implied that your special day ought to be “merry”.

But that your celebration be generally received as:

Environmentally conscious
Socially responsible
Non-gender inclusive (unless biology is central to your belief system)
and carbon neutral

Without regard to race, creed, color, immigration status, sexual identity, lack of identity, handicap (physical or golf), erectile dysfunction, computer platform, or home team allegiance.

Practiced within the religious traditions of your choice, the secular persuasion of your choice, with respect to the religious and secular choices of others, including their choice not to observe religious or secular traditions at all.

And a happy onset of the impending new year (if calendar conformity is your thing) regardless of its predetermined format:

Chinese
Jewish
Lunar
Mayan
or Dilbert™ Day-to-Day

This holiday wish supercedes all previous wishes, responsive wishes, tokens of said wishes (whether perceived, received, or appreciated) and further…

Cannot be combined with any other wish
Subject to change without notice
Not available in Montana

…and the Happiest whatever doesn’t get us sued.

Void where prohibited by law


He Who Must Not Be Named
Advent heralds the birth of He Who Must Not Be Named.
Not the birth of X.

Missing: Have You Seen Me?
Won’t be long before holiday motorists will slap their rear-ends with: You Can’t Spell Festivus Without St. Nicholas.