I’m That Kind of Girl ♬

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Round 1: Miss Saturday Matinee

• Ann-Margret
• Susan Hayward
• Raquel Welch
• Angie Dickenson

10 pts: Fathom 1967 “I’m a girl who likes to be surrounded by men. Lots of men.” 8½ pts: One Million Years BC 1966
9 pts: The Train Robbers 1973 “I might change my mind. I’m a woman.”
5 pts: Garden of Evil 1954 “You’re nothing at all. Just nothing.”
2 pts: Big Bad Mama 1974 [edited for content] “Get your hand off my…”

Round 2: Man in Demand

• Casablanca 1942
• Tootsie! 1982
• Father Goose 1964
• Live Free or Die Hard 2007

10 pts: “You’re a Timex watch in a digital age.”
8 pts: “Maybe if you stopped straightening pictures and let men wear their own pants, they’d be able to touch you without asking permesso!”
3 pts: “I stick my neck out for nobody”  7 pts for Bogie in anything but Casablanca.
½ pt: “I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.”

Round 3: Hobby Lobby

• Painting
• Dancing
• Cycling
• Crocheting

10 pts: …like nobody’s watching and singing like Kathy Mattea. 2 pts: …naked in the moon-lit clearing around a lurid bonfire of wonderbras.
8 pts: …a pedal powered two wheeler for fun an’ fitness. (No pts for an ungreen e-bike.) 9 pts: …single stack’d .45 ACP through a lightweight Commander.
7 pts: …comforters for the neighborhood nursing home. 1 pt: …pink pussyhats for a ditch-the-men getaway to a wicked witch parade.
6 pts: …expressions of warmth and harmony. ¼ pt: …posters, placards, and signs for the wicked witch parade.

Round 4: Cancelled Menu

• Grande Mocha Cafè Americano Caramel Miccato with cinnamon and extra whipped cream
• Redskin’d potatoes
• Sunday-less sandwiches
• …with Rockenschpeel!

10 pts: “One more time, Wilma!” ♪ Make your hobby hubby. Keep your hubby happy. When he’s a little chubby, he’s a happy pappy. With Rockenschpeel! ♬
9 pts: Eat Mor Chikin! ™
2 pts for a culturally appropriated melted candybar in a cup (or leaving your favorite depot with anything less than good ol’ fashioned regular coffee).
1 pt: Woke Washington’s new team mascot. 8 pts for squeezing Redskins into casual conversation just for the dirty looks. 7 pts for oven roasted with butter, lemon juice, and garlic.

Round 5: Jeopardy?

• Who Ya Gonna Call?
• What’s Up, Doc?
• Where’s the Beef?
• When the going gets tough…

10 pts: “Who do you think they’ll arrest? The girl in the tub or the guy with his pants down.” (with Ryan O’Neal and Barbara Streisand) 9 pts for Bugs and friends.
7 pts: …the tough go shopping (and leave the man-made kitchen mess behind).
6 pts: Ghostbusters the original.  No pts for Ballbusters: No Men Allowed 2016
1 pt: Fake steak and phony burgers? (Well, you are what you eat.)

Round 6: A Holiday to December

• Solstice
• Festivus
• Cannabis
• Joy to the World… ♬

10 pts: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧. 8 pts for Three Dog Night
5 pts: The airing of grievances (not Matt Dillon’s sidekick).
2 pts for celebrating the birth of the sun rather than the birth of the Son. 6 pts for the discontinued Pontiac.
1 pt for being a pothead.

Round 7:  Cats n’ Hats

•
• Pro-choice
• Pronouns
• Josie and the Pussycats

10 pts:  ♪ …long tails and ears for hats ♬  Bonus pts for an original LP with
(soon to be Angel) Cheryl Ladd on the skins. No pts for those babeless reboots.
9 pts for choosing life. (No pts for choosing self.) 8 pts for education or vaccination choice. And that mindless twit all alone in her bubble mobile choosing to wear her obedience mask… priceless.
3 pts: Hands off my pussy!
½ pt: Personally we prefer Major Nelson’s “Master”.

Round 8: Suff’ring Suffrage

• Almost the XXVIIth
• Should be the XXVIIIth
• Prohibition Repealed
• Vote for Gracie

10 pts: Down With Common Sense! If the country’s going Gracie, so can you!
9 pts: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝
4 pts: …plus the 19th Amendment equals DUI (democracy under the influence).
2 pts: The ill-fated ERA. (7 pts for thinkin’ it had something to do with baseball.)

Round 9: Back to Old School

• Vanity 6
• Waylon & Willie
• Mary Chapin Carpenter
• Nancy Sinatra

10 pts: Good Hearted Woman 1976 spinning at 33⅓ rpms
9 pts: Passionate Kisses 1992 on a dashboard melted compact disc
4 pts: These Boots are Made for Walkin’ 1966 eaten by an in-dash 8-track
0 pts: Nasty Girl 1982 squealing on a played-out cassette tape

Round 10: Crosswalk

• LED NIV
• Burger King Religion
• Genuine Cowhide Authorized Edition
• The Blues Brothers

10 pts for totin’ your own. No pts for tearing out Ephesians 5.
8 pts: “We’re on a mission from God.” (The original not the dopey sequel. Hollywood remakes are a lot like scriptural paraphrases: Something always gets lost in translation.)
3 pts: When the power goes out, your 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 is Gone with the Wind.
1 pt: What kinda God do you want? He made me this way, Our Mother which art in Heaven, or Somewhere out there. Have it your way… ♬

Bonus Round: Who’s that Girl?

• Princess Leia
• Patty Loveless
• Hot n’Topless
• Arsenic and Old Lace 1944

10 pts: ♪ But if you’re lookin’ for a real romance, I’m that kind of girl… ♬
8 pts: ‘66 345 hp 428 topdown T-bird. (Lose pts for letting those dopey outlaw chicks drive her off a cliff.) 9 pts: No shirt. No shoes. No problem.
6 pts: “This is some rescue! You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.” 7 pts: Slave girl Leia (1 pt: Rainbow Disney’s General Patton Leia)
2 pts: “In Elderberry wine… one teaspoon of arsenic, half a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide. One gentlemen found time to say, How delicious!”

I Don’t Want to Work… ♬
(It was an…) ♪ Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini  that she wore for the first time today ♬

Dear Diary
Day 1: Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came but just the same, I must be going. ♬

D is not for Diversity

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…or democracy.

After thumbing through Athens, Paul wrote of their cultish devotion to an ecumenical jukebox of gods, including one new age tribute: TO THE GOD UNKNOWN …who (the apostle of Christ was quick to contest) was in fact the one true KNOWN.

At which the woke worshipers mocked…

This ain’t Georgia, son.  Acts 17:16-32

Verily.

But there’s no virtue in diversity. If a society is defined by its culture then multiculturalism is the death of culture (as well as the most moronic of oxymorons).

Just as moronic as Country Rap.

There’s nothing down home about Rap. It’s a speech impediment – an Electro-funk profanity-laced Gregorian chant (minus any spiritual harmony).

…and monks.

Coexist is nothing but a faded bumper sticker on a toga and sandal-clad ‘63 split-window Kombi toking to Woodstock.

Not that the Kumbaya folk are like totally against some square Hee-Haw-in’ to his own tune, just so long as it’s not…

Flag waving
Bible thumping
Okie From Muskogee-ing

…and definitely not like, uhmm, well… you know.

 

Notice nobody sings about New Jersey (except for Uncle Floyd, of course – not that there’s anyone left to sing along). And…

Will the Last One Out Please Turn Off the Lights

Yeah… millennial beatniks may sing of diversity but demand conformity. Their new age shaman is a palm-sized genie, which can be summoned at will and blink them high-speed cable-free “Open Sesame”  to every whim and bong-filled fantasy (in exchange for their souls).

And she must be obeyed.

So, like stoners stumbling from their gimme-gimme Gov-Ed commune, ranting and raving with cellphones and spray cans, they dance naked around a lurid bonfire of everything that offends them – everything that is not them:

Columbus Day
Chik-Fil-A
The Dukes of Hazzard

 

Of course, back then ol’ Rosco had little else to do than to chase Dukes all day, but today he’d be up to his redneck badge “…in hot pursuit” of all them highly undocumented Visa-less visitors with…

No license
No registration
No insurance
No English

But are here just the same and (like some newly hyphenated bride) want whatever we have, whatever they can claim, except our name. Rather than joining the family, our unwelcome cousins want to permanently remain as over-stayed house-guests… a sub-culture in America not of America.

E Pluribus Pluribus: Out of many, many more

With their own…

Markets
Schools
Rules
Houses of Worship

…and voting democrat (early and often) which is why they are here.

Sure they are. Having lost their arm-linked confederacy of political potheads, Democrats must now import an all-new voter fraud base – anyone and everyone who hates America as much as they hate America. And they does.

Hate America.

…and they hate anyone who doesn’t.

Never since The Declaration was a truth any more self-evident than Jefferson’s Democrat descendants obvious contempt and disdain toward our Love of country – Once in a lifetime – American Independence celebration: America 250.

Some even seemed content to claim to be tripping on TDS but that excuse was just lame. Their far out tirades were further out than that: They hate American patriotism and anything that made America great:

The Declaration of Independence
The Constitution
Our Founding Fathers
A (most misunderstood) Electoral College
The Supreme Court, Bill of Rights, Stars n’Stripes

And all those Amendments that give them the right to get wasted, loot n’pillage, and make horses’ heinies of themselves.

Just kidding.

But that’s why there’s nothing but a pile of smoldering all-weather one-hundred percent polyester ashes at the base of their flag-less flag poles.

Actually, in their drug-infused fantasy of democracy, there are no rights period, just an equal say in what rights are surrendered to the zombies.

Cheered by social media
Governed by opinion polls
Judged by network news

…and fueled by their own bong-fogged mob.

Coexistence is not possible.

Just as mixing oil and water doesn’t produce Grade A homogenized milk, cultural diversity is MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction). So is the mythical idea of a “Melting Pot”.

That’s right, I said it.

America is unique. We have a history, a heritage, a way of life all our own. Love it, leave it, or leave it alone.

America 250: Proud to be diversity-free.

X is for Christmas
If your neighbors accused you of being a Jesus freak, would there be enough evidence in your seasonal display to convict?

R is for Redskins
Juliet may have been right about one thing: The Redskins by any other name would still be smelly.