I’m That Kind of Girl ♬

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Round 1: Miss Saturday Matinee

• Ann-Margret
• Susan Hayward
• Raquel Welch
• Angie Dickenson

10 pts: Fathom 1967 “I’m a girl who likes to be surrounded by men. Lots of men.” 8½ pts: One Million Years BC 1966
9 pts: The Train Robbers 1973 “I might change my mind. I’m a woman.”
5 pts: Garden of Evil 1954 “You’re nothing at all. Just nothing.”
2 pts: Big Bad Mama 1974 [edited for content] “Get your hand off my…”

Round 2: Man in Demand

• Casablanca 1942
• Tootsie! 1982
• Father Goose 1964
• Live Free or Die Hard 2007

10 pts: “You’re a Timex watch in a digital age.”
8 pts: “Maybe if you stopped straightening pictures and let men wear their own pants, they’d be able to touch you without asking permesso!”
3 pts: “I stick my neck out for nobody”  7 pts for Bogie in anything but Casablanca.
½ pt: “I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.”

Round 3: Hobby Lobby

• Painting
• Dancing
• Cycling
• Crocheting

10 pts: …like nobody’s watching and singing like Kathy Mattea. 2 pts: …naked in the moon-lit clearing around a lurid bonfire of wonderbras.
8 pts: …a pedal powered two wheeler for fun an’ fitness. (No pts for an ungreen e-bike.) 9 pts: …single stack’d .45 ACP through a lightweight Commander.
7 pts: …comforters for the neighborhood nursing home. 1 pt: …pink pussyhats for a ditch-the-men getaway to a wicked witch parade.
6 pts: …expressions of warmth and harmony. ¼ pt: …posters, placards, and signs for the wicked witch parade.

Round 4: Cancelled Menu

• Grande Mocha Cafè Americano Caramel Miccato with cinnamon and extra whipped cream
• Redskin’d potatoes
• Sunday-less sandwiches
• …with Rockenschpeel!

10 pts: “One more time, Wilma!” ♪ Make your hobby hubby. Keep your hubby happy. When he’s a little chubby, he’s a happy pappy. With Rockenschpeel! ♬
9 pts: Eat Mor Chikin! ™
2 pts for a culturally appropriated melted candybar in a cup (or leaving your favorite depot with anything less than good ol’ fashioned regular coffee).
1 pt: Woke Washington’s new team mascot. 8 pts for squeezing Redskins into casual conversation just for the dirty looks. 7 pts for oven roasted with butter, lemon juice, and garlic.

Round 5: Jeopardy?

• Who Ya Gonna Call?
• What’s Up, Doc?
• Where’s the Beef?
• When the going gets tough…

10 pts: “Who do you think they’ll arrest? The girl in the tub or the guy with his pants down.” (with Ryan O’Neal and Barbara Streisand) 9 pts for Bugs and friends.
7 pts: …the tough go shopping (and leave the man-made kitchen mess behind).
6 pts: Ghostbusters the original.  No pts for Ballbusters: No Men Allowed 2016
1 pt: Fake steak and phony burgers? (Well, you are what you eat.)

Round 6: A Holiday to December

• Solstice
• Festivus
• Cannabis
• Joy to the World… ♬

10 pts: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧. 8 pts for Three Dog Night
5 pts: The airing of grievances (not Matt Dillon’s sidekick).
2 pts for celebrating the birth of the sun rather than the birth of the Son. 6 pts for the discontinued Pontiac.
1 pt for being a pothead.

Round 7:  Cats n’ Hats

•
• Pro-choice
• Pronouns
• Josie and the Pussycats

10 pts:  ♪ …long tails and ears for hats ♬  Bonus pts for an original LP with
(soon to be Angel) Cheryl Ladd on the skins. No pts for those babeless reboots.
9 pts for choosing life. (No pts for choosing self.) 8 pts for education or vaccination choice. And that mindless twit all alone in her bubble mobile choosing to wear her obedience mask… priceless.
3 pts: Hands off my pussy!
½ pt: Personally we prefer Major Nelson’s “Master”.

Round 8: Suff’ring Suffrage

• Almost the XXVIIth
• Should be the XXVIIIth
• Prohibition Repealed
• Vote for Gracie

10 pts: Down With Common Sense! If the country’s going Gracie, so can you!
9 pts: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝
4 pts: …plus the 19th Amendment equals DUI (democracy under the influence).
2 pts: The ill-fated ERA. (7 pts for thinkin’ it had something to do with baseball.)

Round 9: Back to Old School

• Vanity 6
• Waylon & Willie
• Mary Chapin Carpenter
• Nancy Sinatra

10 pts: Good Hearted Woman 1976 spinning at 33⅓ rpms
9 pts: Passionate Kisses 1992 on a dashboard melted compact disc
4 pts: These Boots are Made for Walkin’ 1966 eaten by an in-dash 8-track
0 pts: Nasty Girl 1982 squealing on a played-out cassette tape

Round 10: Crosswalk

• LED NIV
• Burger King Religion
• Genuine Cowhide Authorized Edition
• The Blues Brothers

10 pts for totin’ your own. No pts for tearing out Ephesians 5.
8 pts: “We’re on a mission from God.” (The original not the dopey sequel. Hollywood remakes are a lot like scriptural paraphrases: Something always gets lost in translation.)
3 pts: When the power goes out, your 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 is Gone with the Wind.
1 pt: What kinda God do you want? He made me this way, Our Mother which art in Heaven, or Somewhere out there. Have it your way… ♬

Bonus Round: Who’s that Girl?

• Princess Leia
• Patty Loveless
• Hot n’Topless
• Arsenic and Old Lace 1944

10 pts: ♪ But if you’re lookin’ for a real romance, I’m that kind of girl… ♬
8 pts: ‘66 345 hp 428 topdown T-bird. (Lose pts for letting those dopey outlaw chicks drive her off a cliff.) 9 pts: No shirt. No shoes. No problem.
6 pts: “This is some rescue! You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.” 7 pts: Slave girl Leia (1 pt: Rainbow Disney’s General Patton Leia)
2 pts: “In Elderberry wine… one teaspoon of arsenic, half a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide. One gentlemen found time to say, How delicious!”

I Don’t Want to Work… ♬
(It was an…) ♪ Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini  that she wore for the first time today ♬

Dear Diary
Day 1: Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came but just the same, I must be going. ♬

Among Thieves

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Genesis 22:7 And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb? 8 And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb.

Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. 4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5 He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

John 1:22 Who art thou? 23 I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord. 29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

John 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. John 10:1 He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Luke 24:7 The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.

Matthew 27:11 And [Pilate] asked him: Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest. 31 and led him away to crucify him.

Luke 23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him. Mark 15:27 And with him they crucify two thieves; the one on his right hand, and the other on his left. 28 And the scripture was fulfilled, which saith… Isaiah 53:12 He was numbered with the transgressors.

Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

Luke 23:39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. 40 But the other rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. 42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. 43 And Jesus said unto him, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

John 20:1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulcher, and seeth the stone taken away. 15 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. 16 Jesus saith unto her, Mary.

John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. 27 Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

The Cry of the Rocks
Truth can be ignored but cannot be made untrue. Truth just is, even if held by just one. One plus God.

Level Ground
There’s a baggage check at the altar. Come as you are. Don’t leave the way you came.