…mid-winter celebration that coincides with or falls on or about December 25^th including (but not necessarily limited to):

Yuletide
Hanukkah
Kwanzaa
Solstice
Festivus
Cannabis

Which is not to suggest that your holiday is in fact a “holy” day, if you don’t want it to be. Or isn’t, if you do.

Nor is it implied that your special day ought to be “merry”. But that your celebration be generally received as:

Environmentally conscious
Socially responsible
Gender non-specific, and of course…
Carbon neutral

Practiced within the religious traditions of your choice, the secular persuasion of your choice, with respect to the religious and secular choices of others, including their choice not to observe religious or secular traditions at all.

Without regard to race, creed, color, immigration status, sexual identity, lack of identity, handicap (physical or golf), erectile dysfunction, computer platform, or home team allegiance.

And a satisfactory onset of the impending new year (while not denying the possibility that it might also be “happy”) regardless of its predetermined format:

Chinese
Jewish
Lunar
Mayan
or Dilbert™ Day-to-Day

This holiday wish supercedes all previous wishes, responsive wishes, tokens of said wishes (whether perceived, received, or appreciated) and further…

Cannot be combined with any other wish
Subject to change without notice
Not available in Montana

And the Happiest …whatever doesn’t get us sued.

Void where prohibited by law

He Who Must Not Be Named
Advent heralds the birth of He Who Must Not Be Named.
Not the birth of X.

Miracle on 34th Street: May 18th
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is about to sing and dance down 34th Street. But one character has decided to celebrate early…