Let’s Eat Grandma

Hold up on that blue haired buffet, we need a quick powwow with the shoot eating panda:

๐€ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐š๐ง, ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐š๐ง, ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ .

๐€ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐š๐ง, ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ, ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ก๐š๐ง๐๐ฌ, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ, ๐ค๐ข๐œ๐ค๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐‡๐š๐ซ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐ž๐ง, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ข๐ฅ๐ž๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฉ.

See what a difference a little comma makes?

But government warehouses long ago gave-up on teaching competent English (actual Math and honest History…) and instead graduate looters and statue-topplers with good vibes about their ignorance. A mediocre but fully funded future awaits them in some acronymโ€™d bureaucracy, possibly the highway dept:Some ancient texts were also a little light on punctuation (and vowels), giving those quill and scroll scribes and your thumbsy teenage daughter something more in common than just funky footwear:

๐†๐จ๐ ๐š๐ฆ ๐ˆ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž. ๐๐ฌ๐š๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ”:๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ

Biblical Hebrew was also written backward, and who knows what they would have done with a comma had they had one.

Just the same, the comma is there (or should be) – it exists! put there by prescient English translators to clarify the murky manuscript, and found in most common and widely held Biblical versions:

ESV and, of course…

Yo, like relax dude, I am the ๐ˆ ๐€๐Œ.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway

And it matters. Black punctuation matters. Because conjunctions and punctuation are not interchangeable, but they are as equally essential as they are distinct.

So, whatโ€™s the difference between a comma and grandma’s cat? Well…

A comma is a pause at the end of a clause
And grandma’s cat eats, sleeps, and poops whenever he wants

…kinda like conjunctions, but unlike commas, which are the steak and eggs of clear thought and concise meaning.

Because ๐๐ฌ๐š๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ”:๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ is not: ๐๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ˆ ๐š๐ฆ ๐†๐จ๐.

But rather: ๐๐ž ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ,

Comma: Pause. Wait here. Take a moment to reflect before moving on.

Your first reaction is probably more an over-reaction than a course of action. So, before you dial up those gossipy ladies of the back pew prayer chain, just stop. And in the solace of bended knee, think on this:

I knew what the problem was and knew what the answer was before you even knew there was a problem. So..?

Calm yourself
Take out the earbuds and

…๐š๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ˆ ๐€๐Œ ๐†๐จ๐.

Now let’s eat, grandma.

Level Ground
Thereโ€™s a baggage check at the altar. Come as you are. Donโ€™t leave the way you came.

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice
and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24