Miss Piggy boards an airplane and takes a seat in First Class.

A stewardess approaches her. “Excuse me, Miss. But this section is reserved for our first class passengers. You have a coach ticket. Please, let me show you to your seat in coach.”

Miss Piggy looked up at the stewardess and whined, “I’m blonde. I’m beautiful. And I’m going to Hollywood.”

The stewardess sends for the head steward. The head steward shows up and says, “Y’know, this really isn’t fair to the rest of the passengers. I really must ask you to take your seat in coach.”

Miss Piggy said to him, “I’m blonde. I’m beautiful. And I’m going to Hollywood.”

The head steward calls for the captain. The captain leaves the cockpit, and marches back into first class. “Now listen here! This is my airplane. And I insist that you leave first class immediately and take your seat in coach.”

And Miss Piggy said to him, “I’m blonde. I’m beautiful. And I’m going to Hollywood.”

The captain leaned over and whispered in her ear. Miss Piggy’s eyes opened wide. She jumped up, ran back to coach and sat down.

The stewardess exclaimed, “Captain! captain! What did you say to her!”

“I told her first class wasn’t going to Hollywood. Only coach was.”

If You Gotta Go, Start Early
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities.

Have It Your Way!
What kind of God would you like? We have God is Love, Our Mother Who Art in Heaven, or Somewhere Out There.