And long before Disney ruined the Muppets (and Star Wars, and Pixar…) Master-blaster Jim Henson struck comedic stardust pairing a self-absorbed Hollywood starlet with a swampy banjo picker.

Though not even Uncle Walt (or Industrial Light and Magic) could transform Kermit into a handsome prince. Some frogs are just frogs.

Well, of course, they are… all couples are odd.

So, he likes stand-up bears and five strings. And she… anything but, so what? How many first dates never see a second because the couple-to-be confuse similarity with compatibility?

Sure… shared values are invaluable. “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”  But shared interests? eh… not so much.

Engaged, two gears are in sync though spinning in opposite directions

What is a prince, after all? Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most useless one of all? Can a prince wrench a leaky sink, program the royal DVR, or double clutch a floor mounted stick?

Sleeping Beauty dreamed of a kiss from her true love. Years of disillusionment later, she awakened to discover Mr. Charming was merely a boyish reflection of herself. Rather than the opposite of herself – a frog.

Two identical identities are less a couple than they are two short of two couples. But then love is blind (a little deaf) and really dumb.

Okay… Aurora’s white knight dueled fire-breathing dragons. Just as VHS Han Solo routinely performed feats of derring-do on his way to rescue the princess and pick up the dry-cleaning, leaving little doubt as to who wore the pants. Or pantaloons.

But what in the world happened to the gunslinging scourge of the galactic Empire? …after Disney’s broom riders redrew Princess Leia as General Patton (minus his charming personality).

Culture is not only kinetic, it’s double entry: Anything imposed on one side of society’s ledger must be subtracted from the other.

Pink pussyhats clamor for some mystical mathematical equality, which… bottom line, adds up to sameness. When the credits roll, they walk out frustrated and alone: They can’t be men, they don’t want men to be men, and they hate men for it.

Political correctness: Always having to say you’re sorry

Feminism promised fulfillment in freedom from men.

But in shedding vulnerability, today’s miss misses out on life’s simplest and most organic pleasure… needing and being needed. To be everything her man is not; providing what he cannot: The answer to a question, hope in sorrow, a corny joke. And gaining in return what she can never be – he.

Understanding that, though, would make her dependent. Accepting it would make her a woman. Something she is not allowed to be.

Miss Piggy was just another muppet until she fell rump over snout for her frog. And giving birth to a family of sequels, syndication, and DVD sales… she lived happily ever after.

But you have to kiss a lot of Prince Charmings before you find your frog.

Maid in America
Ditch that gym membership and all those born As Seen On TV torture devices. Your fret-free home workout awaits

Free Parking
“Ride it like you stole it.” ^{Thomas Paine (sorta)}  Well… he might have said it, had he opened a novelty t-shirt outlet.