Miss America 2.0

The Sisterhood

The Angels are as accomplished as they are beautiful. And confident. And independent. And stylish. And did we say beautiful?

…but still seen as subservient to a macho Agency patriarchy.

Score: 2 (dress size)

Miss Bedrock married her man and took his name before having his baby. (Yeah, I know, right? like… what was she thinking?)

Score: 0 (hubby wins argument)

Miss Barbie drew wide-spread acclaim for never marrying her boy-toy, Ken.

Score: 50+ (years in production)

Miss Castaway lost points for remaining faithful to her ever distant fiancé, even though he’d never find out and probably didn’t exist anyway.

Score: 3 (seasons on the Island)

Cinderella left behind her ugly step-sisters and evil step-mother… to marry Mr. Charming, move into his castle, and live happily ever after.

What’s this pastel world coming to?

Score: 0 (Academy Awards)

More… Miss America 2.0

Talent Night
Miss Hooters was disqualified and promptly escorted from the premises for her rendition of Paula Cole’s Where Have All the Cowboys Gone.

Pantsuit Competition
Mary Ann was voted: Most Favorite Gal to be Shipwrecked With. Measurements: (Would be fun to find out).

Getting Woke
Mrs. Charming issued a decree for a Royal Ball with a command performance by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

And The Winner Is…!
There she is, Miss America 2.0! There she is, your ideal!
Score: 100 (lbs of manure left on-stage)