If You Gotta Go, Start Early

Always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, a rather old-fashioned lady and her husband were planning a week-long vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for reservations.

outhouse-5She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities.  She just could not bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter.  After much deliberation, she finally came up with the antiquated term “bathroom commode,” but after writing it down, she thought she was still being too forward.  So, she started over, rewrote the entire letter, and referred to the bathroom commode as merely the B.C.   “Does the campground have its own B.C.?” is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn’t old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn’t figure out what the woman was talking about.  That B.C. business really stumped him.  After worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn’t imagine what the lady meant either.  Finally, the owner came to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the location of the local Baptist Church, so he sat down and wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam:

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located 9 miles north of the campground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.  I admit, it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it.  They usually arrive early and stay late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand the whole time.  It may interest you to know that a supper is being planned to raise money to buy more seats.  They’re going to hold it in the basement of the B.C.

I would like to say, it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is not from a lack of desire on my part.  As we grow older, it seems to take more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.

If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could sit with you the first time you go and introduce you to all the other folks.  Remember, this is a friendly community.

Author unknown  (pre-internet)


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