The One on the Right

one on the right -- johnny cash …was on the Left, and the one in the middle was on the Right, and the one on the left was in the Middle, and the guy in the rear was a Methodist.  ♬

Pickin’ an’ singin’ musical troupes should stick to playing mountain ballads and the folk songs of the land. If they let politics interfere with their harmonizing, they’ll only wind up in a free-for-all with…

The one on the right on the bottom, and the one in the middle on the top, and the one on the left with a broken arm…  ♬

And auditions for replacement performers cannot open without first a political tally of who is on the left and who is on the right to ensure some elusive harmony and balance.

The Supremes are split alright, but not by Democrat, Whig and Methodist, as the tone-deaf media would have you think. No, the black robed Choir sings from two hymnbooks: Those who believe in the supremacy of written law, and the hippies who believe in the supremacy of themselves.

These flower children have the same regard for the Constitution as the stone tablets hefted by Moses: Beautiful sentiment but way too square and uncool.

So, they remix the Constitution in their own image – emotional, changeable, caring. But (to ad-lib an old line) a living Constitution is a dead Constitution, and an undead Constitution is a Constitution for zombies.

Actually, the zombies are agnostics: They believe the Constitution exists but doesn’t care about them. So, from the “penumbras and emanations” of their acid soaked minds, they roll and smoke new law; writing decisions colored by personal and political biases, which aren’t just allowed but encouraged.

“It is legal because I wish it,” sang King Louie.

Not that a court packed with singing Scalias would find warm and fuzzy unanimity in the law, but at least there would be an acknowledgment of the law.

Yeah, everybody loves a nut.

But the Senate’s constitutional duty of “Advise and Consent” was never meant to be amateur night at the Improv.

Article I and Article II branches of government constitutionally tasked with Article III try-outs have in the past and continue to grant golden tickets to karaoke jurists, who proceed to mangle and pirate Articles I and II.

One proposal to reign-in some future court careening wildly is to allow for the general election of justices. Oh, sure… and if the court wasn’t politically off-key before, plug your ears.

No, the Founders found harmony on the first note:

  • The President should nominate only those who would faithfully judge the laws of the land, he so signed.
  • The Senate then should then sift the nominees, confirming only those who will faithfully interpret the laws of the land, they so wrote.
  • The Justices then, serving for life, owe their allegiance to the law itself and nothing else.

…and they should play their banjos well, and if they have political convictions, they should keep them to themselves. Otherwise…

The one on the left should work in a bank, and the one in the middle should drive a truck, and the one on the right an all-night deejay, and the guy in the rear… . 

No Taxation without Preparation H
Why tax income at all?  We should tax things we don’t want.  Like hemorrhoids.

The Cry of the Rocks
Democracy may be a lot like running a circus from the monkey cage, but at least monkeys don’t snap selfies while toppling PT Barnum statues.