I Don’t Want to Work… ♬

Round 1: Queens

• Steve McQueen
• Dairy Queen
• Queen Latifah
• Dancing Queen by ABBA

10 pts for CGI-free Mustang bustin’ Bullitt (or The Getaway, The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape…)
6 pts for an M&M’s Blizzard^® (…while immersed in a Steve McQueen Film Fest, add 3 more.)
4 pts for the death of disco (though not entirely their fault).
1 pt for the chick Equalizer. (No pts, if you don’t understand why.)

Round 2: Nineteens

• 1911
• 1969
• 1619
• 9×19

10 pts: …because shooting twice is just silly.
6 pts: Well, no wonder you need 15 rounds (and two backup mags). Knock off two more for toting your puny rounds in a plastic BLOCK.
4 pts for smoking dope at Woodstock. Double up for moon walking with Neil.
0 pts: The We Hate America Project.

Round 3: Bill of No Rights

• Liberty
• Equality
• Diversity
• (It was an…) ♪ Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini ♬

10 pts: Free men do not ask permission. Or forgiveness.
7 pts …just for singing along.
4 pts: All men are equal. Some are more equal than others. (Welcome to the farm, animals.)
2 pts: Why there ain’t no white Skittles™

Round 4: Alphabet Soup

• GTO
• GQ
• LGBTQ
• BBQ

10 pts: Get Turned On! ‘66 Pontiac 389 Six Pack (not that European weenie mobile).
8 pts for charcoal briquettes. (Should be an easy 10, but y’know… really depends on what’s aflame. 5 pts for propane. Nothing for veggie anything.)
4 pts: Ties were invented by women to make men look goofy.
1 pt for flying the Crayola flag. 9 pts for chiming in with… E-I-E-I-O ♬

Round 5: Kings

• Martin Luther King ^Jr
• King James
• James Taylor
• Taylor Swift

10 pts: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (lose 8 pts for Lebron)
7 pts for the dream. For dreaming about toppling statues…. lose 6½.
5 pts: ♪ “Ohhh, Ah’ve seen fire and Ah’ve seen rain…” ♬
2 pts: How many tweets does it take to get to the angry center of a
country girl gone pop?

Round 6: Man! (…Friday)

• Black Friday
• Good Friday
• His Girl Friday ¹⁹⁴⁰
• T.G.I.F.

10 pts: …and a better day on Sunday.
8 pts: “Walter, you’re wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”
5 pts: Thank goodness, it’s the weekend! (Minus 4 pts for taking His name in vain.)
2 pts: Full-contact, roller-derby shopping. (No pts for skipping out on dessert to gobble up early bird midnight specials.)

Round 7: Rocky Road

• Three on a Tree
• General Lee
• Ben & Jerry
• Hope, Crosby, and Dorothy

10 pts for unsynch’d double clutchin’ (plus two more for knowin’ why).
9 pts: Moonlit skinny-dipping on the Road to Bali ¹⁹⁵² 7 pts on the Road to… anywhere else.
6 pts: You don’t hafta like the man to respect the man, or respect the men who do. (Add 2 pts for the Duke boys’ rebel-flagged high-flyin’ Charger.)
1 pt: Liberals cause ice cream headaches.

Round 8: …is Enough

• Mid-engine C8
• Coulda Had a V8
• Looking for Eight
• Eight o’Clock Original Roast

10 pts: George Strait’s Amarillo by Morning. (9 pts for a tape eating 8 track in a barn find ‘69.) 7 pts: Eight fold family values with Dick Van Patten.
8 pts for brewing your own. Lose 5 pts for leaving the coffee depot with something like melted cotton candy in a cup.
2 pts: Eight cylinders dicked up your rear may give you an automotive thrill, but you’re still not a Corvette (and neither is the Vette).
½ pt for ditching your 392 Hemi for an AC/DC F’d150. (What kinda wuss trades tuned port dual note oil soaked Detroit steel for a Chinese battery pack that won’t so much as hum?)
4 pts for vegetable juice.

Round 9: That’s the Ballgame

• Stars and Stripes
• Balls and Strikes
• Black and White
• “Who took my clothes off?”

10 pts: Brother Greenwood’s 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐒𝐀. Lose 7 pts for the gender-cleansing rewrite.
8 pts: “I did. We flipped a coin and I won.” Rio Lobo ¹⁹⁷⁰
3 pts: Baseball at its soul is still a game to be enjoyed and not made perfect. So, let the boys throw spit balls and play in the rain.
0 pts: Critical Race Theory. 7 pts for Gunsmoke or some uncolorized sitcom.

Round 10: Hooters

• 36 – 24 – 32
• 5^3/4 – 3^3/4 – 5^1/4
• 108 – 60 – 96 (aggregate)
• 28 – 28 – 28

10 pts: Miss Swimsuit’s locker combination
8 pts: Any three Townsend Angels. Lose 5 pts with any of those babeless remakes.
6 pts: Bombshell Barbie. Plus 3 pts for pissing-off flat-chested pink pussyhats.
1 pt: Pajama Boy’s flannel onesie

Bonus Round: Men at Work

• Mike Rowe
• Todd Rundgren
• Mr. Mom
• McLintock!

10 pts: “I’ve been punched many a time… but never for hirin’ anyone.”
8 pts: “Get ready to get dirty.”
4 pts: “Yeah, 220… 221… whatever it takes.”
3 pts: ♪ “…I just want to bang on the drum all day.” ♬