I Don’t Want to Work… ♬

Round 1: Queens

• Steve McQueen
• Dairy Queen
• Queen Latifah
• Dancing Queen by ABBA

10 pts for CGI-free Mustang bustin’ Bullitt (or The Getaway, The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape… .)
6 pts for an M&M’s Blizzard®. (Feasting on your Blizzard® while immersed in a Steve McQueen Film Fest… add 3 more.)
4 pts for the death of disco (though not entirely their fault).
1 pt for the chick Equalizer. (No pts, if you don’t understand why.)

Round 2: Nineteens

• 1911
• 1969
• 1619
• 9×19

10 pts: …because shooting twice is just silly.
6 pts: Well, no wonder you need 15 rounds (and two backup mags). Knock off two more for toting your puny rounds in a plastic BLOCK.
4 pts for smoking dope at Woodstock. Double up for moon walking with Neil.
0 pts: The We Hate America Project.

Round 3: Bill of No Rights

• Liberty
• Equality
• Diversity
(It was an…) ♪ Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini ♬

10 pts: Free men do not ask permission. Or forgiveness.
7 pts …just for singing along.
4 pts: All men are equal. Some are more equal than others. (Welcome to the farm, animals.)
2 pts: Why there ain’t no white Skittles™

Round 4: Alphabet Soup

• GTO
• GQ
• LGBTQ
• BBQ

10 pts: Get Turned On! ‘66 Pontiac 389 Six Pack (not that European weenie mobile).
8 pts for charcoal briquettes. (Should be an easy 10, but y’know… really depends on what’s aflame. 5 pts for propane. Nothing for veggie anything.)
4 pts: Ties were invented by women to make men look goofy.
1 pt for flying the Crayola flag. 9 pts for chiming in with… E-I-E-I-O

Round 5: Kings

• Martin Luther King Jr
• King James
• James Taylor
• Taylor Swift

10 pts: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (lose 8 pts for Lebron)
7 pts for the dream.  For dreaming about toppling statues…. lose 6½.
5 pts:“Ohhh, Ah’ve seen fire and Ah’ve seen rain…”
2 pts: How many tweets does it take to get to the angry center of a
country girl gone pop?

Round 6: Man! (…Friday)

• Black Friday
• Good Friday
• His Girl Friday 1940
• T.G.I.F.

10 pts: …and a better day on Sunday.
8 pts: “Walter, you’re wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”
5 pts: Thank goodness, it’s the weekend! (Minus 4 pts for taking His name in vain.)
2 pts: Full-contact, roller-derby shopping. (No pts for skipping out on dessert to gobble up early bird midnight specials.)

Round 7:  Rocky Road

• Three on a Tree
• General Lee
• Ben & Jerry
• Hope, Crosby, and Dorothy

10 pts for unsynch’d double clutchin’ (plus two more for knowin’ why).
9 pts: Moonlit skinny-dipping on the Road to Bali 1952 7 pts on the Road to… anywhere else.
6 pts: You don’t hafta like the man to respect the man, or respect the men who do. (Add 2 pts for the Duke boys’ rebel-flagged high-flyin’ Charger.)
1 pt: Liberals cause ice cream headaches.

Round 8: …is Enough

• Mid-engine C8
• Coulda Had a V8
• Looking for Eight
• Eight o’Clock Original Roast

10 pts: George Strait’s Amarillo by Morning. (9 pts for a tape eating 8 track in a barn find ‘69.) 7 pts: Family values with Dick Van Patten plus eight.
8 pts for brewing your own. Lose 5 pts for leaving the coffee depot with something like melted cotton candy in a cup.
2 pts: Eight cylinders dicked up your rear may give you an automotive thrill, but you’re still not a Corvette (and neither is the Vette).
½ pt for ditching your 392 Hemi for an AC/DC F’d150. (What kinda wuss trades tuned port dual note oil soaked Detroit steel for a Chinese battery pack that won’t so much as hum?)
4 pts for vegetable juice.

Round 9: That’s the Ballgame

• Stars and Stripes
• Balls and Strikes
• Black and White
“Who took my clothes off?”

10 pts: Brother Greenwood’s 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐒𝐀. Lose 7 pts for the gender-cleansing rewrite.
8 pts: “I did. We flipped a coin and I won.” Rio Lobo 1970
3 pts: Baseball at its soul is still a game to be enjoyed and not made perfect. So, let the boys throw spit balls and play in the rain.
0 pts: Critical Race Theory. 7 pts for Gunsmoke or some uncolorized sitcom.

Round 10: Hooters

• 36 – 24 – 32
• 53/4 – 33/4 – 51/4
• 108 – 60 – 96 (aggregate)
• 28 – 28 – 28

10 pts: Miss Swimsuit’s locker combination
8 pts: Any three Townsend Angels. Lose 5 pts with any of those babeless remakes.
6 pts: Bombshell Barbie. Plus 3 pts for pissing-off flat-chested pink pussyhats.
1 pt: Pajama Boy’s flannel onesie

Bonus Round: Men at Work

• Mike Rowe
• Todd Rundgren
• Mr. Mom
• McLintock!

10 pts: “I’ve been punched many a time… but never for hirin’ anyone.”
8 pts: “Get ready to get dirty.”
4 pts: “Yeah, 220… 221… whatever it takes.”
3 pts: “…I just want to bang on the drum all day.”


I’m That Kind of Girl ♬
I ain’t the woman in red, I ain’t the girl next door, but if somewhere in the middle’s what you’re lookin’ for…

Gone Fishin’
Everyone knows the fish are missing, everyone knows why the fish are missing, but no one is allowed to ask what happened to the fish.