If You Have Two Nonbinary Bovines…

Pink Pussy Hats:
They join a stampede of nasty cows through the Town of Marble Monuments, mooing against the cisgendered bull-archy. “Not all cows have utters!”

Star Wars:
After an unprotected one-night stand aboard the Falcon, C3PO and R2D2 “manufacture” an intergalactic knock-off named MR. LATTE; which not only brews espresso and dispenses foaming milk, but also mocks Scruffy-looking Nerf-herders in six million forms of communication.

Black Lives Matter:
Spurred on by their bullhorn genderless-horn toting leaders, caramel colored Jerseys attack white-faced Holsteins, burn down their own barnyard, then topple civil war statues. “Robert E. Lee eats hamburger!”

Gender-nonspecific Scouts:
Cows basket weave with castrated bulls to earn exciting new PC badges, such as:
All Bulls Are Rapists
Your Privilege Is Bull****, and of course…
Who’s Sorry Now?

Snowflakes:
Unable to log-on to Obamacare, the flannel-lined Pajama calves move into farmer Brown’s basement, play video games, drink cocoa, and never leave the farm.

Three’s Company:
In this Disney remake, the busty and brainy double-X twosome are recast as Chrissy the lanky giraffe and Janet the uptight zebra. The zoo pals move-in together with an effeminate chimp named Jack.

Millennials:
“What’s a bovine?”
“Do the brown ones give chocolate milk?”
“Is there an app for that?”

Betty and Veronica:
Fed up with the barnyard antics and unwanted humping of their horny XY strip-mates, the blonde bombshell marries her brunette lover and adopts the confused Guernsey “Jughead”.


If You Have Two Cows…
Liberalism:
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

Have It Your Way!
What kind of God would you like? We have God is Love, Our Mother Who Art in Heaven, and Somewhere Out There.