LIBERALISM:
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

SOCIALISM:
The government takes both and gives you back the milk.

FASCISM:
The government takes both, milks one, and sells you the milk.

NAZISM:
The government takes both, milks one, and shoots the other.

COMMUNISM:
The government takes both, milks one, and shoots you.

CAPITALISM:
You sell one and buy a bull.

If You Have Two Nonbinary Bovines…
Chrissy the lanky giraffe and Janet the uptight zebra move-in together with an effeminate chimp named Jack.

Ten Commandments
IV. Honor thy Father and thy Father’s boyfriend, thy Mother and her gender nonspecific significant other, Mother Earth… .