Liberalism:
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

Socialism:
The government takes both and gives you back the milk.

Fascism:
The government takes both, milks one, and sells you the milk.

Nazism:
The government takes both, milks one, and shoots the other.

Communism:
The government takes both, milks one, and shoots you.

Capitalism:
You sell one and buy a bull.

If You Have Two Nonbinary Bovines…
Pink Pussy Hats: They join a stampede of nasty cows through the Town of Marble Monuments mooing against the cisgendered bull-archy.