Snowflake Melting Resolutions

Cool off. Go jump in a lake. With your phone. When you come up for air, you will be ready to get to work. And your phone no longer will.

Opinions are like belly-buttons: Everyone’s got one. And whining doesn’t enrich the discussion. It’s just more pee in the pool.

School is outway out. Education is found beyond the classroom. Everything you’ve learned will just have to be unlearned. Honestly, if you really want a diploma, print one. It’s just as valuable, and not nearly as dishonest.

Punctuation, use some. And learn how to spell. Auto-correct shouldn’t be smarter than you.

Social media is not. Anyone you know only on social media, you don’t know. And anyone who knows you only on social media, you don’t want to know.

Get a pair. Of boots. You’re entitled to nothing. Respect is earned. It’s not a hand-out, or a political promise, and it cannot be demanded. But it is demanding.

Do something… anything, where you hafta show up, get your hands dirty, and the boss fumbles for your name. Maybe with a little humility you’ll find some consideration for that little gal who takes your latte order. Or maybe you’ll just find yourself.

Drop your pants. (Speaking of finding yourself…) figure out what you are, then act accordingly. If you’re still not sure, ask someone else to drop theirs.

Be the same. Everyone’s different, the same as you.

Look up. You are not the center of the universe. Thank God.


Ten Commandments
IV. Honor thy Father and thy Father’s boyfriend, thy Mother and her gender nonspecific significant other, Mother Earth… .

Mississippi Squirrel Revival
The day the squirrel went berserk in the First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.