Convoy – NIV

Ah, interrupting the conversation on Citizens Band channel 19, this is Rubber Duck, can you hear me, Pig Pen?  Please, respond.  Ah, yes, that’s affirmative, Pig Pen.  Certainly, certainly.  By golly, we have an open road through to Flagstaff.  Please, respond.  That’s affirmative, Pig Pen, we definitely have the lead truck, my friend.   **Mercy sakes alive, apparently we are a continuous line of trucks.”

There was no moon on the sixth of June
in a Kenworth hauling lumber.
A cab-forward Peterbilt equipped with a refrigeration unit
and a GMC transporting pigs.
We were heading for police trouble on Interstate Ten
approximately a mile outside of Los Angeles.
I said, Pig Pen, this is the Rubber Duck
and I’m about to depress the accelerator.

♪ Because, we are a small caravan
rockin’  through the night.
Yes, we are a small caravan
aren’t we a beautiful sight?
Come join our caravan
nothing will obstruct our procession.
We will drive our freight hauling caravan across the USA.
Caravan!

Ah, interrupting, Pig Pen, this is the Duck.  And will you fall further behind with your cargo of pigs?  Yes, affirmative.  About five miles or so.  Affirmative – those pigs were starting to smell bad up here.”

When we finally arrived in Tulsa
we had eighty-five trucks total.
But there was a roadblock on the Interstate overpass
and the police were everywhere.
Yes, there were as many state police as bugs on a bumper
there was even a police helicopter.
I said, attention all trucks, this is the Duck
we are about to engage the police.

♪ Because, we are large caravan
rockin’  through the night.
Yes, we are large caravan
aren’t we a beautiful sight.
Come join our Caravan
nothing will obstruct our procession.
We will drive our freight hauling caravan across the USA.
Caravan!

Ah, will you repeat that message, Pig Pen?  Negative, Pig Pen; you are still too close. Yes, those pigs are starting to affect my sense of smell.  Mercy sakes, you should fall behind another ten miles.”

Well, we proceeded on Intestate 44
like a rocket-propelled vehicle on rails.
We tore up all our log sheets
and left them on the truck scales.
By the time we hit Chicago
the police were gaining wisdom.
They called up reinforcements
from the Illinois National Guard.
There were armored trucks, tanks and jeeps
and vehicles of every size.
Yes, the weigh stations were staffed with additional police
and helicopters flew overhead.
Well, we charged the law enforcement obstruction in abandoned caution
with a thousand extremely loud trucks,
and eleven religious hippies needing a haircut
in a yellowish-green Volkswagen microbus.

Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster.  Please, respond.  Yeah, affirmative, Sodbuster?  Listen, will you place that microbus behind that risk-taking driver?  Yes, he is transporting dynamite and he could use all the help he can get.”

Well, we plotted a course for the Jersey Shore
and were about to cross the border.
I could see that the bridge was filled with police
but I didn’t have any small change.
I said, Pig Pen this is the Rubber Duck
we just won’t pay the toll.
So, we crashed through the gate at 98 mph.
I said, let those truckers proceed.  Affirmative.

♪ Because, we are a powerful caravan
rockin’  through the night
Yes, we are powerful caravan
aren’t we a beautiful sight
Come join our caravan
nothing will obstruct our procession.
We will drive our freight hauling caravan across the USA
Caravan!

Ah, affirmative, Pig Pen, what’s your location?  Omaha?  Well, they should know what to do with your shipment of pigs out there, certainly.  Well, mercy sakes, my friend, we will end this conversation.  So, keep the bugs off your windshield and the police off your backside.  I will be in contact on my return trip.  This is Rubber Duck signing off.  We are done.  Bye, bye.”

** [Italicized words or phrases]: Indecipherable colloquialisms