He Writes Poetry and Plays the Lute?

You enjoy fine food asizzling steaknd have orchestrated extravagant dinners.  You are the master culinarian.  But this is no time for showing off.  First date, first impressions: Scrap the menu.  This dinner requires meat and potatoes, and the meat must be steak and the potatoes must be whatever… fries, mashed, chips out of a bag.

There’s a lot to be learned on a date over dinner.  But you will never get any answers playing twenty questions.  Because whatever you are dying to discover, he will not tell you.  Prior to your guest’s arrival, kick the drain pipe off your sink.  Later, while rinsing the vegetables, let the water run all over your feet.  Pretend not to notice.

Of course, he can fix it – it’s just a drain pipe.   Well, maybe not correctly, at first.  So he’s not a card-carrying plumber.   It’s amazing what everyday problems can be solved with duct tape.

Does he even own a toolbox?  Not all guys own a toolbox.  Not all guys are men.  Men own a toolbox.

Sure, most home repairs are on the job training.  But he ought to know the difference between a screw driver and a wrench.  And he really should know some basics: How to patch a hole, change a tire, check the oil on the truck.  He does own a truck, doesn’t he?  If he rolls up in something wimpish and girly, pretend you’re not home.

After he has gone, call a man.  A man with a toolbox.  Any man who can replace your out-of-place drain pipe would also appreciate a home cooked anything but especially steak and potatoes.  And the night is young.